Being Uncomfortable

In 2018, I was standing at the front of a large room, looking at a sea of almost empty chairs. Cornelius Rachieru was the only one seated. We were talking about … something, I can’t quite recall … but he said, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Which exactly encapsulated what I was trying to convey.

Cornelius immediately gave credit to JJG, who had said it in pretty much the same spot I was standing a year prior. Since then, I’ve used that phrase a lot. I felt it really works to underscore the expectation every Designer (including all the professional acronyms and researchers) as they enter a room to do the right work well.

It’s 2022 now. I said it tonight at a Design meetup I signed up for (prior to The Decision™). Immediately, given my perspective now, thought I to myself, “Do I still think that?”

The short answer is yes. The longer answer is no. Yes, yes is longer than no.

The core of that quip is this: As a designer, you need to build resilience intentionally. The sooner you start in your career the better. If you put too much of yourself into your work … it isn’t sustainable for most people. It wasn’t sustainable for me.

I took my thinking prior, and eventually JJG’s quip, and assumed that was it. This work is supposed to be uncomfortable. Your job is to make sense of it for others, but that isn’t the whole job.

Can I get a Requip?

If I were to quip 2.0 this, I would say: “Be an excellent host.” Too esoteric? Stick with me for a sec…

What is the duty of a host?

Good answer! Here’s my answer: To make sure

• that everyone is welcome and comfortable

• that everyone has what they need

• that everyone participates if possible

• and that everyone understands when it’s time to go home.

To be a good host you need to take good care of yourself. How can you take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself?1

You can’t. Not long term anyway. “build resilience in yourself and others” is probably a better quip, but I like “be a good host.” Partly because it requires building resilience and also there are hors d’oeuvres.

I don’t think “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” is enough. It’s too “walk it off, kid.” In the end, it doesn’t need a quip per se, but it does need some attention.

From you. From me.

I suspect that if I had help with this early in my career, I wouldn’t be so disheartened with “UX” at this point. I may have found some balance. Hopefully it will happen in the next career.

1 Recognizing it is often (mostly) a work-in-progress.